May 31, 2008
Please check out this blog... and pray!
I recently discovered a very life-changing blog that has caused me to spend much time in prayer and in tears for this family. The blogger is a phenomenal writer and if you journey with her through her story (as she tells about the loss of her daughter, as well as the loss of nicol and greg sponberg's son), you will be forever changed. She is beautifully broken. the blog site is the first on my list, but for the sake of repeating myself, it's www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com
May 30, 2008
God. Bless. You.
After reading Curious George and saying interrupted prayers, I lay between Elias and Keziah tonight in my plush queen-sized bed. Elias began saying, "Well, God bless you, Mama." I sort of laughed, not having heard this phrase in this context before. I asked him what made him say this out of the blue. He went on to tell me that the man off the interstate with the sign reading, "Hungry, Homeless, Jobless," whom he made me go to McDonald's to buy a double cheeseburger for this afternoon, had said this to him when Elias handed him the red and yellow bag of processed meat product.
So then Keziah began shouting "God bless you" at Elias, which began a "God bless you" shouting match, in which I took part and began saying, "God bless America," only because I have for the past few years found this statement rather humorous, it being taken out of global context and all.
Then Elias asked me what the phrase meant. When I broke it down into five year-old terms, it went something like, "You're saying to someone that you hope God's best for them." Okay, if I were a five year-old I'd still be confused with that answer, but it seemed to satisfy a tired Elias, so he turned his head into the pillow and fell asleep. Keziah, hyper from the medication that is treating her cellulitis (from a spider bite, mind you), continued on in her own little world, peeking her head into the living room every now and then, trying to convince us that she was scared, bored, thirsty, or sick.
Nonetheless, I have pondered tonight this phrase. I wrote an aquaintence who very recently lost her baby to SIDS and titled my email "praying for you." I thought to myself how incredibly cliche' that sounded, but honestly and truly, I had nothing else to sum up my words to her...words that without the backing of Jesus' promise of restoring all that the locusts had eaten, would be empty and shallow. I carefully typed each word, trying desperately to let her know that I was grieving with her over the loss of her boy. Even then, I felt so foolish. Who am I to write this woman who I barely know and "let her know" that "I'm praying for her." Then again, it struck me how the Spirit knows what to pray and how when we come to Him with the burdens of our brothers and sisters, He gives us the words, the utterances, the tears, the sorrow, in order to go even deeper in prayer for that person. Once we begin praying specifically for someone God lays on our hearts, I believe there is a soul connection between us and that person. We pray for her, we fast for her, we cry for her. And for the first time, we understand what Jesus meant when he said to mourn with those who mourn.
There is beauty in our emotions. Most of the time, I abhor my emotions, as they many times send me on a roller coaster ride of high and low negativity. But today I am rejoicing in them, as I feel an ounce of the pain in that mother, a speckle of brokenness in that beggar, and an abundance of love toward my children. So when I say "God bless you" tonight, please know that if you are reading this, I mean it. God. Bless. You.
So then Keziah began shouting "God bless you" at Elias, which began a "God bless you" shouting match, in which I took part and began saying, "God bless America," only because I have for the past few years found this statement rather humorous, it being taken out of global context and all.
Then Elias asked me what the phrase meant. When I broke it down into five year-old terms, it went something like, "You're saying to someone that you hope God's best for them." Okay, if I were a five year-old I'd still be confused with that answer, but it seemed to satisfy a tired Elias, so he turned his head into the pillow and fell asleep. Keziah, hyper from the medication that is treating her cellulitis (from a spider bite, mind you), continued on in her own little world, peeking her head into the living room every now and then, trying to convince us that she was scared, bored, thirsty, or sick.
Nonetheless, I have pondered tonight this phrase. I wrote an aquaintence who very recently lost her baby to SIDS and titled my email "praying for you." I thought to myself how incredibly cliche' that sounded, but honestly and truly, I had nothing else to sum up my words to her...words that without the backing of Jesus' promise of restoring all that the locusts had eaten, would be empty and shallow. I carefully typed each word, trying desperately to let her know that I was grieving with her over the loss of her boy. Even then, I felt so foolish. Who am I to write this woman who I barely know and "let her know" that "I'm praying for her." Then again, it struck me how the Spirit knows what to pray and how when we come to Him with the burdens of our brothers and sisters, He gives us the words, the utterances, the tears, the sorrow, in order to go even deeper in prayer for that person. Once we begin praying specifically for someone God lays on our hearts, I believe there is a soul connection between us and that person. We pray for her, we fast for her, we cry for her. And for the first time, we understand what Jesus meant when he said to mourn with those who mourn.
There is beauty in our emotions. Most of the time, I abhor my emotions, as they many times send me on a roller coaster ride of high and low negativity. But today I am rejoicing in them, as I feel an ounce of the pain in that mother, a speckle of brokenness in that beggar, and an abundance of love toward my children. So when I say "God bless you" tonight, please know that if you are reading this, I mean it. God. Bless. You.